I realized that I don't actually know what my momma really does when she leaves me for hours at a time. So I thought I should find out.
"Momma--what is it you actually do?"
"Well, Jimmy Joe, for the most part my job consists of three parts:
1) going to boring, interminable meetings where people try to come up with new things to have boring, interminable meetings about
2) writing long, dry essays that quote lots of dead German philosophers
3) teaching randy 18- and 19-year olds, trying to get them to think about something other than getting into each other's pants for 2 hours out of the day."
Now, quite frankly, I think this sounds like kind of a silly job. So I gave her three suggestions for some better jobs:
1) finally brush the dust off of her Knitting For Dummies book that's been on top of the bookshelf for forever and become a
knitty mouse maker!
2) finally start that catnip farm that we’ve always dreamed about
3) become a kitty masseuse
She said that she wasn't sure that she could buy me enough mousies and Tas-tee t/d kibbles if she just had these jobs. So, I have a favor to ask of you all: what are some things my momma could do?
P.S. Chairman Mao tagged me for the 7 P's meme, so I'm workin' on that...stay tuned...