Friday Meme

Hi every-buddy. First today I have to make an apology and a clarification. I asked my momma last night what the play The Lieutenant of Inishmore is actually about, and I was horrified! Cats get killed in this play!!! She assured me that the bad guys all get what's coming to them and that cats end up on top in the end, but I'm not sure you should read this at all. Momma swears it's one of the best plays she's ever seen, but she has really weird taste, if you ask me.

So I would rather recommend the book My Father's Dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannett. There is a small but crucial role played by a very smart ol' salty sea tabby, and there's a funny trick played on alligators, which I know Daisy will appreciate!

OK, then, today I thought I'd try my paw at the scattergories meme. These are the RULES:
Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following...they have to be real places, names, things...nothing made-up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.What is your name: Jimmy Joe

• 4 letter word: jean
  
• vehicle: Jaguar
  
• TV show: Just Shoot Me
• City: Jersey City
• Boy name: Jeremiah
  
• Girl name: Jenny
  
• Alcoholic drink: Jolly Roger (Argh!)
  
• Occupation: Judge
  
• Something you wear: jock-strap (well, I don't wear these since I had the hoo-hah-ectomy, but sometimes Big Hairy Beans wear them, I've been told)
  
• Celebrity: Jenna Jameson (Momma said this maybe wasn't the best answer, but I think she's real pretty)
• Food: jerky (comes in beef or turkey! excellent food)
  
• Something found in a bathroom: jewelry
  
• Reason for being late: just didn't want to go to work today
  
• Cartoon character: Jiminy Cricket
  
• Something you shout: Jump!!!

Thursday Thirteen

Hi there every-buddy! This week I think we all need some extra curl-up-on-the-couch-and-snuggle time, so today I thought I'd share with you some good books for that quiet time:

1) The New Yorker Book of Cat Cartoons. Because cats have always been an inspiration for art. And comedy.

2) Wiener Dog Art. By Gary Larson. (this was Coco's suggestion. but it's still a good book)

3) The Cat-Nappers. By P.G. Wodehouse.

4) Julian's Cat: the Imaginary History of a Cat of Destiny. By Mary Little. This book is not in print anymore, but maybe you can find it at your library.

5) The Cat in the Hat Comes Back. (it gets even better the second time!!!)

6) Why Cats Paint. (momma says this is a silly book, but she's not very sophisticated, even though she supposedly is studying aesthetic theory)

7) The Cats' House. By Bob Walker. (we gotta get one of these)

8) Cats Into Everything. Also by Bob Walker. (he must be a great guy)

9) The Lieutenant of Inishmore. By Martin McDonagh. (this is a play, actually. I'm not so sure about this one, but momma thinks it's brilliant, so I'll put it on here for her)

10) The New York Times Chicken Cookbook. (seriously. nothing more needs to be said.)

11) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. (my momma says The Goblet of Fire is the best one, but I think the Prisoner of Azkaban is the best because of the important role played by Crookshanks, the very clever orange cat, ahem ahem.)

12) Captain Kidd's Cat. By Robert Larson. (a cat who was a pirate! one of the best books ever!)

13) Lafcadio, the Lion Who Shot Back. By Shel Silverstein. This my favorite book.

We've been sitting in the sun reading these days. I highly recommend it!

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday Meme: the Seven P's

Thanks, every-buddy, for your suggestions for my momma. She said she thinks she's going to continue with her Ph.D work, because she's put a lot into it so far. I'm pretty disappointed: I really liked the catnip co-op idea. She agrees with you though, Storm, that every house should have a Meezer painting and a woolly Jimmy Jo. So hopefully she'll learn how to knit soon.

Chairman Mao tagged me for the Seven P's meme, so here's a little bit more about me:

The Rules: In an attempt to get to know fellow bloggers a little better, this new meme was started called the 7 P’s. Fill out the 7 P’s and tag five blogs that you read on a regular basis. Have fun!

Passion: arm-pit massages. Mmm...I can never get enough.
Purpose: to spread fur and joy wherever I go (although hopefully I don't have to go there by car)
Pursuit: I've been really into vole-hunting recently. But Momma won't let me bring them inside to play. We're having kind of a disagreement over this these days. More on that later...
Position: I'm a big fan of the Full Monty (congratulations to all the winners of Monty Q's contest, by the way!). I roll over on my back a lot to get those belly- and arm-pit massages.
Pummeling: I like to chew and kick my knitty mouse. Then the stuffing comes out and Momma throws it away. Then I'm sad until I get a new knitty mouse.
Progress: I am always working on my whacking-things-off-the-table skills. Sammy Meezer is very informative regarding this.
Personality: I am friendly and snuggly and easy-going. I like just about everyone and can get along with everycat. I'm glad that we're all buddies!

Thanks, Chairman Mao! That was fun. So, now I'll tag...Yao-Lin, Peach, and Faz!

Friday Favor

Well, some of you mentioned yesterday that my momma must be pretty smart. First of all, I have to advise you all not to leap to conclusions: those of you who read my blog regularly know that, although I love her soooo much, Momma makes a lot of silly mistakes (she doesn't even get my name right half the time).

I realized that I don't actually know what my momma really does when she leaves me for hours at a time. So I thought I should find out.

"Momma--what is it you actually do?"

"Well, Jimmy Joe, for the most part my job consists of three parts:

1) going to boring, interminable meetings where people try to come up with new things to have boring, interminable meetings about

2) writing long, dry essays that quote lots of dead German philosophers

3) teaching randy 18- and 19-year olds, trying to get them to think about something other than getting into each other's pants for 2 hours out of the day."

Now, quite frankly, I think this sounds like kind of a silly job. So I gave her three suggestions for some better jobs:

1) finally brush the dust off of her Knitting For Dummies book that's been on top of the bookshelf for forever and become a

knitty mouse maker!

2) finally start that catnip farm that we’ve always dreamed about

3) become a kitty masseuse

She said that she wasn't sure that she could buy me enough mousies and Tas-tee t/d kibbles if she just had these jobs. So, I have a favor to ask of you all: what are some things my momma could do?

P.S. Chairman Mao tagged me for the 7 P's meme, so I'm workin' on that...stay tuned...

Thursday Thirteen

Today is the first day back at school at Cornell University, where my momma goes to get her Ph.D. Now, I have never actually been to Cornell because, well, I'm a cat and I don't need no stinkin' degree to prove that I'm clever. But I thought I would share thirteen facts about Cornell just out of interest. I hope you like them:

1) Cornell University was founded in 1865 by Ezra Cornell and his buddy Andrew Dickson White. Ezra is a funny name.

2) Cornell is both a private and a public university: some colleges are Ivy League while some are state colleges. It is also the only Ivy League Land Grant university.

3) Forty Nobel laureates have been affiliated with Cornell as faculty or students (whoop-dee-doo. none of them were cats)

4) Ezra wrote to A.D. White in 1868 as they were creating the university, making this pledge: "I would found an institution where any person could find instruction in any study.” People make a big deal out of his inclusiveness but note the discrimination: "where any person..." Beans always overlook this blatant speciesism.

5) Ezra made lots and lots of money in the telegraph business, inventing ways to dig telegraph lines and insulate them. Nobody uses telegraphs anymore. Can you imagine a Cat Telegraph-Sphere? Ha ha ha!

6) Cornell has 14 schools and colleges: seven undergraduate schools/colleges; four graduate colleges in Ithaca; two medical colleges in New York City; and a medical college in Qatar. That's really, really far away.

7) Cornell offered America's first university degree in veterinary medicine. Its College of Veterinary Medicine is one of the leading veterinary science research centers in the world.

8) The Vet College has a Feline Health Center. This makes Cornell my favorite school.

9) Cornell's mascot is the Big Red Bear. People just call Cornell "Big Red."

10) Cornell offers 70 different undergraduate majors.

11) Cornell's library system includes 20 different libraries and has nearly 8 million printed books.

12) The main campus of Cornell is in Ithaca, New York, and the campus is on a plateau east of Cayuga Lake (one of the Finger Lakes), with big gorges with creeks at the bottom serving as the north and south borders of the campus. This is why Ithaca's motto is "Ithaca is Gorges." It is also why the Cornell alma mater starts out "Far above Cayuga's waters..."

13) Cornell has over 100 "interdisciplinary research organizations," which means centers, institutes, and programs outside of academic departments. These are my favorites: Cornell Electron Storage Ring (in case you need somewhere to store your electrons for a while); Information Assurance Institute (this assures you that you have information); and, the best: Transgenic Mouse Facility. Building better mice instead of better mousetraps. I hear they are working on a Nano-Mouse.

Wordless Wednesday

Mancat Monday: Positive Thinking

Well, as you might have noticed, I was a little grumpy last week, but I'm back on the sunny side of life by today:

I got a new knitty mouse this weekend!

I ate some good grass this morning and smelled the flowers:

And then I chased Coco inside for breakfast!

Jeter Harris is right: Life is Grate!

Friday Full Montys

Well, since this is the last day of Monty Q's challenge, I thought I would share with you a classic Full Monty. I have submitted a personal variation on the Full Monty at the contest site, but here is the classic:

Note the blindingly white tummy. It takes a lot of work to keep a tummy so white and squishy.

Coco wanted to play too. I told her the contest rules are for kitties. But she whined really bad. So now, for a special treat, the legendary, but seldom seen...

WIENER DOG FULL MONTY!

Thursday Thirteen: My Names

As you all know, cats are so important and complex that we need many names. Unfortunately, I am called some names that I do not think are appropriate. Nevertheless, I am including all of my names in this Thursday Thirteen so you can see what I have to put up with.

1) Jimmy Joe. This is my real name, a very respectable country-cat name.

2) J.J. This is what my friends call me.

3) Jumbo Jim. Granny calls me this. I think this is kinda rude.

4) James Joseph. When Momma calls me this -- uh oh...

5) Jimmy the Hut. Auntie Jane calls me this. She thinks it's funny, but it's not.

6) Jimmy No. I think I've mentioned this one before. Sometimes Momma gets confused and calls me this by mistake.

7) "Hey hey hey--it's Faaaaat Jimmy!" Auntie Jane says this sometimes, too. She has a really lame sense of humor.

8) Jay-Bird. This is one of Momma's special names for me.

9) Fatty McCatty. Momma says this and laughs, but it's not funny. She also calls Coco "Chatty McBratty" sometimes, though, which is funny. Ha ha ha!

10) Great Melon of World Peace. This is my Native American name.

11) "Hey bud" -- this is what Poppa calls me.

12) "eee..schnurff...rrr" -- this is what Coco calls me. It's in Wiener Dog, which is hard to translate.

13) Sweet-Boy. Because I am.

Wordless Wednesday

(clarification)

some of you might have noticed that Bojar's name is spelled "Kojar" in some places. that is Momma's fault: we saw this article in the paper this morning and I asked Momma to put this up on my blog for me while I went outside, and she couldn't even get this little thing right. She spelled his name wrong. Luckily when I came back in I noticed the mistake and I fixed it. honestly--don't tell her I wrote this, because it might hurt her feelings, but sometimes I wonder how she's ever going to get a Ph.D at Cornell...

Tuesday Tribute

Well, I know that some of you are a little wary of the doggies, but I think you will all agree that Officer Bojar was one awesome dog.


Bojar worked in Ithaca, NY for the Tompkins County Sheriff's Department, and he helped his man Shane catch lots of bad people, find drugs (good thing he never searched my Momma, since she's a bad kitty-drug pusher) and teach mini Beans about laws.

Bojar went to the Bridge last week because he had lots of tumors inside of him. He is a hero doggie.

You can read a nice article about Bojar here.

Mancat Monday: foiled again

I didn't mention yesterday how they managed to get me in the prison box and in the car for 12 hours. Well, Momma is a bad, bad drug pusher and shoved the bright pink pill down my throat Saturday morning before I knew what hit me.

The visions started...

Oh, and Benjamin Fuzz--

I did see the hippopotamus in a tutu this time. Freaky.

So even though things were gettin' weird, I kept my wit about me and looked for a place to hide so that they couldn't get me in the prison box. I know! The Malibu Barbie Dream House! They'll never think of looking for a big strong Mancat in there...

Curses! Foiled Again!

Oh well. I did get in one tiny bit of retribution. I managed to work up a couple piles of fluorescent pink spit-up on Granny's carpet downstairs. Ha ha! Something to remember me by.

Many Happy Returns

"Oh, Jimmy Joe, now that we're back home, you can help me weed my horribly over-grown garden!"

Oh sure, stick me in the prison box and torture me by driving for 12 hours and then you want me to help you???

I mean, I'm a nice guy and all, but even I have my limits.

I'm stayin' right here under this juniper bush. You can weed the garden yourself, Mean Lady.

Friday: Friends and Family

Well, it's my last day at Granny and Poppa's. It was pretty good here. Gran's good about coming downstairs and filling my dish with my special t/d kibbles, and there is a nice warm screened-in porch with two different tables to sprawl on. Gran put terry cloth tablecloths on them, which feels real good on a hot day.

Last night Momma went to visit two little Meezer guys who live across the street. Here are the neighbors:

They're named Blues and Jazz. Blues is a blue point, and Jazz is a lynx point. I think they're about 4 months old now. They've already got some pretty rockin' Meezer laser eyes, don't they?

Here they are wrestlin'. They are a handful, I think. Granny's talking about gettin' a Meezer sister for Sophie. I think that a mini Meezer would be a good match for that Sophie...

Here's Sophie perched on her ring I showed you the other day. She jumps up on top and then flips around to play with the mouse in the middle. I told her about your circus tricks, Daisy, and I think she wants to do that, too.

Finally, this is Oreo. Oreo is a really, really old lady. She's 19. She likes to pretend that Sophie and I don't exist. She gets away with a lot, too, because she's older than dirt. You know how it is: she sneaks my food or hisses on the stairway, and immediately the Beans are all "Oh, Oreo! Are you hungry? You have to eat your own special food..." or "Hey Jimmy Joe/Sophie--are you bothering that poor old kitty??" Oh man, she really works the old lady card.

[grudgingly] I guess I'll miss her too, though.

So those are my friends and neighbors here in Michigan. I'll let you know when I'm back in NY! Have a great weekend, y'all!

Wordless Wednesday

My cousins

Momma visiting her aunties in Chicago and northern Wisconsin. She's sent me some pictures of my cousins whom I've never met.

This is Diva, who lives with Aunt Betty Jo. She is a very sassy panther. She likes to play with catnip mousies and she attacks Nutmeg, the big golden doggie.
This is Susie Q, and she's a real old girl now. She's 18, I think. She has great white toes and a white smudge on her nose. I think this makes her look very distinguished. I wish I could meet her, but that would require riding in the car...

This is Smokey Joe. We have the same middle name! He's a big-boned guy, too, like me. He's a little crotchety these days, though, because he doesn't like the big puppy dog. She's real doggie-ish, not a cat-dog like Coco, and he doesn't like sharing the living room with her. I can understand that. Big bouncing dogs can really interrupt a good roll on the floor.

This is my cousin Ted, who lives with Auntie Susan in woody Wisconsin. He's a real old guy now, about 17, but he still goes out and patrols the yard. He's got a great lion mane!

I'm glad Momma sent me pictures of my cousins, since I'll probably never get to meet them in person (the whole car-sickness thing makes visiting family a problem).

Why Do Beans Travel?

Momma went to the Berlin Zoo on Tuesday and she saw lots of really impressive big cats.

This tiger was really pissed off because he didn't like what his Food Lady had brought him for dinner. It was a big chunk of something (maybe Vishus Deer!!!), but he thought it wasn't up to his royal standards. So he ignored it for a while, which you can see here. Then he got irritated because he thought his girlfriend next door might have gotten something better, so he banged on the door and yelled at her. Then he got really ticked off and roared really obscene things in German-Tiger at people. We think that he had every right to be pissed off, because he should have a private royal dining room without all of the rabble interrupting his meals, even inadequate ones. Or he should have been able to eat outside in his park, al fresco. He was very eloquent at expressing his displeasure, though. Maybe he reads Yao-Lin's blog.

Now I'm really irritated, too, because Momma's going to leave AGAIN this afternoon. She is really starting to make me mad. I mean, Granny's nice and everything, but she doesn't really give the deep-tissue armpit massages that I require. All total Momma has travelled 48 hours in the past 6 weeks, on planes, trains, and automobiles. Now she's going to drive to Wisconsin this afternoon. All I can say is, she'd better bring me some cheese.

STOP LEAVING, MOMMA!!!

Thursday Explanations

Oh man, every-buddy, I'm sorry I've been incommunicado the past two weeks. My momma finally got back yesterday after five weeks away. I have no idea why she would want to be away from me and Coco for five weeks. She makes really bad decisions a lot. And Granny is crazy about the Internet, so I've been mostly sunning on the porch and playing with Sophie for the past two weeks. Luckily, with Momma back now, she can insist to Granny that I get some time on-line, so I can catch you all up now.

So Momma was in Paris, Bremen, Hamburg, and Berlin. She also went to Groningen in Holland for one day. She made sure to meet some Dutch and German cats, although she didn't get to say hi to Dragonheart because she didn't go as far south as Munich.

Here's the tabby dude who lived next door to her apartment in Bremen. Her German isn't perfect, and she doesn't really know German-cat, but she said she thinks his name was Hermann. He liked arm-pit rubs, too, just like me! I think Germany would be all right to visit. They eat lots of sausages there.


Here's a cool orange-and-white dude who lives on a boat! Momma couldn't understand Dutch-cat at all, so she just called him Jan. Which sounds like Yawn. He lives on a canal in Groningen. I wouldn't mind visiting him, but I don't think I would want to live on a canal. There aren't any trees.

Here's a good picture of Jan on his boat. Maybe I should call him Captain Jan.







And this lovely lady also lives on the canal. Momma said maybe her name is Katje. I wish I knew Dutch so I could be her pen-pal. She was stalking baby ducks that were paddling around her boat. Wow. I didn't know Dutch girls are so pretty. And talented, too. Too bad I'm not a good traveller.


OK--I'll catch up on more news and pictures tomorrow!